The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

¡Feliz Año Nuevo! Happy New Year! Kä mrä kuin!

(I’m pretty sure there’s no Ngäbere expression for this, so we’re gonna go with “year new good” and call it a day.)

Monday, November 20^th – this day was a good representation of my life from mid-November to mid-December – packed and frantic. But mostly in a good way. I left my house around 6 AM to head to San Felix to purchase supplies and prepare for a water treatment workshop the next day. The truck arrived an hour and a half late, and when I got to San Felix the whole town was without electricity and water with no guarantee it would come back on soon. So, I had to take a bus all the way to David to print out my water treatment cards and get supplies. I had decided to try something new and provide lunch at this charla, so I hiked in about 40 pounds of rice, chicken, tomato sauce, vegetables, sugar, and powdered juice. I had hoped to get back by mid-afternoon, but because of the detour to David I got back at twilight. On the way in I ran into Walter and traded my bucket of raw chicken for a flat cardboard box carrying 100 chicks (the cooperative had just gotten a new batch) for the last 15 minutes or so. My arms are not accustomed to carrying loads on my head and they alllllmost gave out and sent chicks toppling, but I made it! I was at my house salting the chicken to preserve it for the next day when Jorge stopped by and announced that I was in trouble for missing Diana’s second birthday party that afternoon. So I grabbed my solar lamp and went to explain the power outage that had made me several hours late, apologizing profusely and expressing (truthfully!) how much I wished I could have made it. “We were ALL waiting for you, for HOURS, Bei.” The family was obviously still pissed even after my apologies, and Diana’s mother Leila wouldn’t even look at me. She has since forgiven me and we’re all good now, don’t worry! I felt pretty deflated the rest of the night as I finished all of the poster papers for the charla and “laminated” the water treatment cheat sheets (with a roll of clear plastic tape, cheap solutions!)

However, the effort was worth it because this was one of the rare occasions I was satisfied with the outcome of an event. The charla was Enrique’s idea, stemming from a chronic community-wide problem with diarrhea that he sees at each gira médica (two-day visit from MINSA doctors). I based the lessons on his ideas and he introduced the charla. Although I ended up doing most of the teaching, I was ecstatic that Enrique helped in the planning and facilitation. For the last 8 months (and most important months!!) of my service, I’m really focusing on encouraging my gente to take the reins in planning, getting the word out, and leading instead of expecting me to do everything. We taught about at-home water treatment (chlorine, boiling, and solar disinfection) and storage, made a "plubo", had a chicha break, and then I presented a new topic: trash management. The gente got really into that, and it was fun to see. A few people made statements about how they want to be better examples for younger community members and want to make the “ecological landfills” that I introduced, which are basically glorified trash pits, but much better than just tossing trash wherever. Then we feasted on chicken, rice, and veggies!

The gente making a plubo = pluma + cubo (or, faucet installed in a bucket) to eliminate the common and unsanitary practice of scooping cooking/drinking/dishwashing water from buckets with bowls touched by dirty hands. I raffled off the plubo, and Enrique's household won it. His challenge was to ONLY drink water from the plubo, and only put treated water into it to see if it reduces diarrhea. Back in December, he was following the challenge!! I'm excited to hear if he thinks it has been effective after a couple months.

The next day I headed to Cerro Caña, my friend Matt’s site, to facilitate two days of Elige Tu Vida seminars in the high school. Always love doing those! Thursday after the second seminar, more friends arrived for Thanksgiving celebrations! Using his stovetop and neighbor’s fogón, we made vegan Sloppy Joe’s, kidney bean and squash curry, mashed potatoes and gravy, beef & veggie stuffed peppers, and deviled eggs. It was so delicious.

Some of the food we made.

Thanksgiving crew.

In December, we celebrated Mother’s Day and sixth grade graduation, had a workday to fix up the road for the arrival of aqueduct materials for Bajo Conejo (!!!), I taught three baking classes at Dominga’s, Marta’s, and Luisa’s houses, another trash management charla to Marcelino’s producers’ group, the second charla in my leadership series with my neighbor Corbyn, helped Vidal solicit a holiday celebration from our representante, helped with a Water Committee Seminar in Sophia’s site, and tried to start a latrine directive – this last one had to get pushed back to the new year because I literally ran out of time. Whew! I felt like a headless chicken running around trying to get all these things done before my vacation.

Heading down to lunch after the road workday.

Rice tanks a few weeks after planting.

Neighbor Corbyn helping me out with part II of the leadership charla series.

And the rice tanks looked like this right before I left for the holidays! I do believe everyone enjoyed arroz nuevo pa' la Navidad! 

Elvin bossing me around as always during a photoshoot.

Building penca hut #2.

And then I went on a glorious three-week vacation. First to Cerro Punta to celebrate at the Peace Corps Holiday Party, then to Panama City to fly out, then Ann Arbor, Madison, Racine, and back to Ann Arbor. I got to see lots of family and friends and kept quite busy, but also was able to relax plenty and soak in all of the convenient joys of America. Honestly it was bittersweet to leave all of that behind for eight more months of sweaty and unglamorous work. Dale, pues. 

Walking the Cinta Costera before my flight.

Enjoying the beginning of another Polar Vortex with friends in Racine!!

The Story of a Day

A lot of times people ask me, “What is your typical day like?” and I never can come up with a good answer, because I don’t really have a typical day. So I will tell the story of November 14^th, a day that was not extraordinary, but ended up going better than expected.

Monday the 13^th – we had just finished the SENAPAN work day, group meeting, and finally a 3 pm lunch at Elsa and Marcelino’s house. Elsa had told me that she wanted me to accompany her to “a meeting” on the 14^th, but I didn’t know any other details. I asked them what the plan was. Marcelino told us that his friend Catalino would be coming to pick us up at 6 AM at the entrada to take us down to this meeting. He quickly called Catalino to confirm, but there was no answer. Still he seemed sure that he would be there and said, see you at 6 tomorrow! Now, back in June Marcelino arranged for another friend with a truck to take a whole group of us to the beach for an overnight crabbing trip. And we waited from 4 pm to 11 pm, and the dude never showed up. Those seven hours, sitting on the path getting devoured by bugs and my stomach growling, were some of the most miserable hours I’ve spent in Panama. (If you were wondering, eventually José somehow got our diputado, basically the equivalent of a Senator, to send a truck at 11 pm – seriously) So I was quite doubtful this friend would come through. But I set my alarm and woke up at 4:45 AM, and it was raining steadily. I spent a half hour lying in bed, debating whether I should still go, because most of my community members will cancel plans if it’s raining. I finally left my house at 5:30 armed with my black rubber boots and umbrella, and hiked up to the entrada, arriving at 6:30. There was no one there, and it was still raining. I called Marcelino, no answer. I waited and waited and ate my packed breakfast of PB&J and an apple, wondering if Marcelino and Catalino had actually followed through and left without me at 6 AM, and finally at 7:45 I decided to turn around and hike back towards Gallina. I had walked about 2 minutes when Elsa and Marcelino appear on the path, soaking wet and loaded down with probably 30+ pounds of bodá, a local vegetable, to sell. And nearly exactly 2 minutes later, Catalino showed up. The fact that both parties showed up exactly 1 hour and 47 minutes late was quite miraculous.

He drove us to Sabanitas, a town just inside the border of the Comarca that’s pretty developed, with electricity and water and some agency offices. At this point, I had still not been told what this meeting was about. Honestly, I was a little suspicious – I’ve had some bad experiences traveling unknown places with my gente (getting stared and pointed at, getting singled out by an angry preacher in front of hundreds of people, food and water running out, etc…) We went into the Consejo Comarcal, a large multipurpose room with a stage, microphone stand, and beautiful paintings of the Comarca and Ngäbe people on the walls. We were given goodie bags from MiAmbiente (Ministry of the Environment) with recycled paper notebooks and pencils and the day's agenda and some informational booklets. Turns out, it was one of many climate change & reforestation conferences nationwide, and leaders of various groups in the Comarca were invited to learn so that they could spread the information to their constituents. So cool!! I watched Elsa and Marcelino reconnect with almost everyone who walked in – how do they seem to know the whole world? I found a wall outlet to charge my phone (this is a big deal for me, haha) said hello to the one another attendee that I recognized, Ramiro from Cerro Mesa, and wished I had coffee. The conference began, and many people from the national MiAmbiente offices in Panama City spoke, as well as local técnicos, like my community member Adriana’s brother Eduardo. They showed a PowerPoint and videos about deforestation as a national problem in Panama, the reforestation efforts that were already in place, the role of the woman in household conservation – my favorite topic, and future national goals. There was a snack break with little sandwiches and coffee – add your own milk and sugar. I can’t even explain how happy non-sugared coffee & milk made me; truly, my life in Panama has become all about the little things :)  

One of the speakers talked about the reforestation part of the 2015 Paris Accords. He explained that it may be strange to think of ourselves in the Comarca as contributors to climate change when you consider that we live without electricity, factories, or cars. But the Ngäbe can definitely contribute to combating climate change if they re-forest cleared areas, halt slash & burn agriculture, and convert to more organic practices. Over 150 countries agreed on and signed this accord, pardon to our international visitor here – he gestured towards me and the whole room turned to look at me – but the dirtiest country in the world signed it, and then backed out. Feeling that I should say something, I stood up and said shakily, I know, and as an American I’m very ashamed that we have pulled out of this very important agreement. Later, during lunch, after the rage I often feel whenever I read about Trump’s latest move had calmed down, I talked to the speaker. I explained that even though our president is crazy, I remain optimistic that the majority of American citizens and corporations care about the future of the planet and will do our best to make sure that we are doing our part, regardless of who’s in office.

After a yummy catered lunch of fried rice with veggies, fish, cabbage salad, and juice, the final activities included group brainstorming on how to transmit this information to our community members and what topics we’d like to learn about at future seminars. Before leaving, each attendee got reimbursed for their travel to & from the conference. The amounts were pre-set based on your corregimiento, and since we had gotten a free ride that morning the three of us technically made a few dollars, weird but I wasn’t complaining haha. Throughout the day Marcelino had sold all of the bodá and excitedly used his earnings to buy chicken and veggies for the family in San Félix as we waited for the chiva back up. During the hike home, Marcelino held Elsa’s hand during the slippery parts and talked animatedly about how important the conference was and how he is even more convinced that our community has the capacity to completely eliminate slash & burn. Their family has already stopped – growing rice in submerged “tanks”, Asian-style, and practicing organic agriculture. I am always inspired by this couple.

It was a good day!

Let's protect this beautiful place in which we live!

Wishlist ~

Hello readers! Less than a month from today I'll be in the US for two weeks. I'm super excited to see you all. I wanted to put out a small request, *just in case* anyone happens to be visiting any secondhand bookstores in the coming month!

I am in search of children's picture books in Spanish and any learning English materials (books, workbooks, audio) for Spanish speakers for any ages, elementary school to adults. Paperback/lightweight books are preferred, I have to hike them an hour into my community on a steep and sometimes slippery mountain road. My English club members and neighbor kids would be so appreciative!

 Walter, Roger, Roderick, Ehinar, Dionicio

November 3rd festivities in Cerro Mesa

Elvin/Chelo

Some of Matt's host siblings and neighbors in Cerro Caña

Halloween & other photos

Just came back from a great couple of days with a group of PCVs in our friend Michael's site - we celebrated Halloween and went to Cody's community to finish building a memorial. Before that I hosted a little celebration for the kids in my own community.

I'm in a rush to get up to my site before the rains so these are in completely random order!

Dionicio & Pricila

Probably the most tranquilemente they've ever shared popcorn

 My friend Kevin's sweeeeet house in Peña Blanca

"Garden of Values" in Llano Tugri

Stomping in a rice tank

Drawing after English class

Meritre sribire ngitraben! (women work with machetes)

Amazing sunset at my house one day

 Working or gossiping?!

CABRAS

 3/4 of squad going to watch a soccer tournament

"I'm a gringo"

Domingo helping out reading part of the history of Halloween to the trick-or-treaters

Some of the awesome masks the kids made!

Dionicio was my walking garbage can for the trick-or-treaters

 Dulce o travesura!

Probably the most intricate mask 

Walking from Cerro Miel to Cerro Gavilán

Incredible waterfall in Cerro Gavilán. After this photo, we swam!

Abuela Petra preparing pita to make into chacara string

 Jack-o-lantern, Panama-style. After this, I cut up this pumpkin and made soup of it!

 Painting my Halloween costume on the porch

We made a mosaic cross memorial out of old glass bottles and concrete in Cody's (Tächi in Ngäbere) site.

Yawn caught on camera

Chelo. Siempre sassy.

Fried green bananas: why being a PCV is hard

I had to go see a dermatologist back in September for a skin exam (everything was fine) and I ended up leaving with two unexpected prescriptions: one for foot fungus (ha) and another for a dry scalp. I’ve never had a problem with dandruff in the US, but I sometimes do here. I asked the doctor if it’s caused by the humidity, or the water quality, or the fact that I went from washing my hair every couple of days to once a week at most. “None of that,” she said, smiling a little, “It’s just stress.”

Stress?

In many ways, my life is the definition of chill. I get at least eight hours of sleep most every night. I wake up to the clouds rolling through the Salto Dupí valley, the calm blue ocean in the distance, and flocks of green parakeets flying over my house. Besides mandatory PC events every month and a half or so, I have complete control of how I spend my time, and most of it is spent doing whatever my gente are doing -  planting, harvesting, chapearing, visiting house to house and drinking coffee. Living without electricity, WiFi, a washing machine, and exhaust fumes is actually quite refreshing. I have a solid support network of neighbors, fellow volunteers, Peace Corps staff, and family and friends in the states, and there are people in my community who I trust completely. And my mission of exchanging culture and helping my people improve their health is one I believe in wholeheartedly (the actual carrying out of this mission is where it gets messy – see below). So with this tranquilo lifestyle, where does the stress come in? Ever since that appointment I’ve been thinking about this a lot.

It’s Saturday afternoon. I’ve just gotten home from church, and Pricila comes over and asks if I can give her oil. For what? I ask. To fry bananas, she answers. Normally I’d fill an old plastic cup with some oil, give it to her, and send her on her way. But I only have a little oil left, I forgot to buy more when I was in town. I’m sorry Pricila, I only have a little bit left, I tell her, showing her the bottle. She stares at me, still expectant. I ask the standard questions. Are your parents home? No. Is there money to buy oil from the neighbor's store? No. It's not like the family has no money, but with my host parents not home there is likely not a single cent in the house to buy oil. But Pricila, I tell her, this is not really enough oil to fry bananas, and if I give you this oil I will have none left for myself. I offer to lend them a dollar & change to buy oil from the tienda. But will we have to pay it back? she asks. By this time I've been hemming and hawing for over 5 minutes, and my sister-in-law Debora is probably wondering where in the world the oil is. You may be reading this and thinking just give her the dang oil Sierra, you can buy more!! But I worry that my host family, while I love them dearly, sees me as an unlimited dispenser - of matches, headache medicine, various foods, buckets of water from my rainwater tank. As a PCV I want to be generous, but not give handouts because that is the opposite of my job as a sustainable development worker. Pricila is still waiting, and maybe because I'm trying to fry less food anyways, or maybe because fried green bananas are yummy and the alternative lunch of boiled bananas is far less than satisfying, I finally give her the whole bottle of remaining oil in a huff. I still feel bad for taking out my frustration on my nine-year-old sister.

This is a problem that constantly stresses me out. How can one inspire sustainable bottom-up change in a people & place that has been forced into dependency on outsiders by centuries of mistreatment and displacement? This is a question that I will probably be wrestling with long after I finish my Peace Corps service! Many mornings I wake up wondering if I am making any impact at all, and on worse days I even wonder if I'm doing more harm than good. 

I feel incredibly at home in my community with my gente. I love living here, but I definitely thought that I would have it all figured out by now. Three whole months to do a needs assessment?! I had thought during training. I think I can figure out what the community needs a lot quicker than that. But after over 13 months, I'm still trying to figure out what my gente need the most, what is feasible, and what is realistic. Recently there has been interest in starting a latrine project. I'm not as naïve as I was a year ago, thinking that this could be a straightforward endeavor. You have to dig through layers upon layers of family conflicts, land battles, religious and cultural barriers, subtle gestures and cryptic words, all in a mixture of my second and third language when talking with the gente trying to figure out how to go about this project. I've secured a grant to help one sector of the community improve their water system, but I still have many doubts and am not 100% sure this is the best route to take. I'm learning to accept that I will never know for sure if what projects and community members I'm choosing to focus on is the "best" way to go. And that's okay.

So yeah, being a volunteer is confusing and frustrating, but it's also so rewarding and I am excited for my 10-something months I still have to live this weird and beautiful life of a PCV.

What's up in Chicken Hill

After celebrating one year of service with our cohort on a Casco Viejo rooftop, Michelle and I got up early the next morning to travel to Cerro Gallina. During her visit, we spent a day transplanting rice from nurseries to rice tanks with Marcelino's producers' group, were going to spend the day cleaning a cornfield but my stove gas ran out, so we had to hike to get a new tank and by the time we carried it all the way back the workday had ended, oops. We did some paseando, washed a bunch of clothes in the creek, and I left Michelle on my porch journaling while I went up to teach English class - she was bombarded by neighbor kids for two hours against my instructions not to pester her. Maybe one day they'll listen to me... A highlight was getting to spend two nights with my neighbors drinking cacao, and after drinking four totumas each night, Michelle was named Bechi by Enrique! Thanks for visiting, Bechi!! <3 

I gave the first session of my in-site Project Management & Leadership seminar (like the one that I went to with Eugenio back in June) and unfortunately, Eugenio wasn't able to make it last minute but we're looking forward to the next one with him there. We talked about identifying personal values, strengths, tank filling, empathy, and goal setting and planning. To be honest I don't think much of the information was new to the people that showed up, but it's always nice to have a feel-good session where we all give each other shoutouts, right?

Last week Jess came to visit and we had my one-year meeting with the community. We talked about what we've done over the past year and what the community and I want to prioritize over the coming year. Some priorities: a latrine project (this is new?!), planning a holiday celebration in the community, cacao management charlas and learning to make cacao brownies :), more leadership training, trash management charlas, amongst a few other things. Also, our mini-aqueduct improvement project got funded by the NGO WaterLines, so the plan is to rehabilitate the toma and build a block tank in February (dry season), and hopefully get a couple of water committee training sessions in before I leave for the holidays. 

I went to visit my neighbor and friend Sophia in her community for an HIV charla. MINSA came and talked about the alarming HIV trends in the Comarca, prevention, reducing the stigma and false beliefs surrounding HIV/AIDS, and then did blood tests for the gente. I also applied and was selected to be a facilitator for a camp for Comarca youth in January that promotes HIV education through theater! I'm really excited to hopefully take a group of teenagers to this camp and then do a performance in my community, because this information is so important for everyone. I then got to go visit Eduardo at the MIDA office for the National Producer's Day festival up in the beautiful capital of the Comarca, Llano Tugrí. There was tons of produce for sale, and there was a típico singing competition with these middle school aged boys singing songs they composed about sustainable agriculture and protection of the environment. So cool.

Loraine, my now 1-year-old host sister from Santa Rita. Showing off our new ropa, made my neighbor Diana.

Michelle, nun kä krobökä ñaiba aune erere niara kä Bechi Kwitubu Ngäbere!

On top of Cerro Ancón overlooking the city.

Awesome and extensive nativity scene tucked away in a side room of a chapel in Casco Viejo that Michelle showed me!

The beginning of many hours transplanting rice from the nursery beds to the tanks.

A lone corn stalk watches over the Hato Jobo Valley.

Baile del palo de mayo at the tourism festival at the high school in Dupí.

Compliment circle with a ball of string (give someone a shoutout, throw them the ball) at the first leadership seminar.

Made litterboxes out of old cereal boxes and torn up egg cartons and the cats actually use them!

The trick: you have to take a photo AFTER you have said that you're done taking photos, then you will actually capture the smiles. This was after my awesome neighbor Zach (Chitäni) gave a small business management seminar to the artisan group in Cerro Mesa and then got them a donation of nine new foot-powered sewing machines!

"Bei's meeting tomorrow at 9:30 in the morning" has been written on the exterior wall of this house for months...this family has never once been to one of my meetings :) (: