Farewells & Feels

"Bei when you’re gone, I’m going to dream of you” – Ana, last week, in her kitchen at night while drinking cacao before The Road to El Dorado movie night.

I’m writing this post from my porch because my computer is charged and I’m feeling sentimental tonight. The moon is almost full, the crickets are singing and it didn’t rain today so the bugs aren’t too terrible. My borrowed cat Luna is on my lap nibbling on my fingers as I type, and I don’t even mind. After two years in the Peace Corps, there is very little that can faze me.

Today Victor, Domingo, and I worked on putting another coat of mortar on the water tank while Lleya cooked us lunch of rice with a tomato, onion, and jiraca (foraged leafy green than I love) topping. Then the Vejerano siblings, Victor, and I harvested oranges, I lost count at around 60. Then I helped Dionicio practice for his English exam on Wednesday for a couple hours. Then I made brownies with my host parents. They fed me dinner of rice & sardines – the classic meal – while we waited for them to bake. Then I played games of checkers with Victor, Jairo, Roderik, and Pricila until I was too tired to play another and retired for the night, but of course not before playing their favorite songs from the Moana soundtrack.

Roderik, Victor, and Benita making brownie batter.

When I left our makeshift English classroom today – an old chalkboard hanging from some bent rebar in the corner of the chicken coop and a plastic lawn chair for Dionicio – he asked me the usual (mostly in English! He’s getting so much better!)

D: When can we study again? Will you be in your house tomorrow?

Me: Yes, at night.

D: Thursday?

Me: Yes.

D: Friday?

Me: Yes.

D: Saturday?

Me: Yes.

D: Sunday?

Me: Yes.

D: Monday?

Me: Yes, at night.

D: Tuesday?

Me: Dude, Tuesday is my despedida (going away party). It’s a day to celebrate. I’m not going to teach English that day.

D: And then you’re gone? Bei…why do you have to go?

And I literally saw his face fall as he realized how soon I’m leaving, and how I’m simply not going to be here anymore. Although I’m not going too far and I can visit whenever I have free time, it’ll feel really different not actually living here. I feel ya, Dionicio. I’m excited to be done and I’m ready to move on to my new role…but I’m going to miss these days a lot.

The past few weeks have been full of goodbyes. First, the artisan group despedida! What a beautiful celebration. It was mostly for Zach, because he was the one who worked with the artisans as one of his primary projects, so I was shocked with they called me up as well to receive gifts and give palabras! I was presented with two small chacaras made of natural fibers (my favorite), a homemade diente’d bag, and a diente’d headband. There were speeches, some tears, the most incredible meal, an entire barrel full of chicha dulce, and lots of photos. The generosity of the artisan group never ceased to amaze me. They gave me so much without expecting anything in return.

 Miriam.

Chavelita <3 Marita and Marcelino in the background.

Probably laughing at a fart joke.

With the OG tocaya, Bei!

T

100% not posed. Zach made a fart joke, and Marcelino lost it. This is us reacting to his reaction.

I went to Sophia’s despedida in Quebrada Mamey. She planned a whole bunch of fun games for her gente, and then a bunch of them spoke, prayed, and sang about how much she meant to them in the community. It was incredible to see the outpouring of love and emotion. Again, there were tears. The next day we hiked over to Zach’s despedida in Cerro Mesa. More speeches, giveaways, hugs, photos. Then we hiked out and I got to spend two final nights with my closest friends before they left Panama. It’s not going to be the same without them, and it was really tough saying goodbye.

Sophia saying her final goodbyes.

After Zach's despedida. Raquel (dark green nagua) and Walter (orange tshirt) have been good friends of mine as well.

Me, Jake, DJ, Michael, Zach, Sophia. Five people I love very much.

I have a week left in site. I’m uneasy leaving things here in the community unfinished – namely, the aqueduct improvement that is still incomplete and won’t be done when I leave. Then the two newly formed water committees that I wish I had been able to train more, latrines we built that are still not in use, baking classes that I never got to…there’s a whole laundry list of things. My fast-paced American agenda clashed with the leisurely Panamanian agenda, much frustration ensued on both sides, things got put off, and time ran out. But it’s okay because I know I did as much as I could, and there have been several good things that we’ve accomplished recently in the 11^th hour. First - I did a daylong seminar for the Bajo Conejo water committee. I spent a lot of time planning it so I was annoyed that the president didn’t show up… but oh well. The members of the committee that did come learned about the responsibilities of each member of the directive, Ministry of Health laws, proper household water treatment and storage, aqueduct maintenance, and did some team-building exercises. Second, Isaías, Javier, and I built a latrine for two of the few families in the community who until recently didn’t have any sort of latrine and pooped in the creek/woods, so this is a huge step up. Lastly, the sheets of zinc for a new health pavilion that Enrique, Vidal, and I solicited a year ago from our representative (if you remember this from my post from a year ago, major props to you) were finally delivered!! Seeing this come full circle gave me a sliver of satisfaction.

It's pesada de nance season! All the kids came over to eat pesada.

With Manuel, Dionicio, and Eliseo at the World Indigenous Peoples Day festival in Hato Pilón. Love these boys.

Eduardo's whatsapp status. An honor to be featured with such flattering graphics, lol

On July 30^th, I finished my year of 1-second videos. I had started this on September 14^th, 2016, the day we swore in as PCVs, and had about 10 months’ worth of video until my phone got stolen on the 4^th of July last year. I hadn’t backed up my videos and lost it all. Back up your stuff, y’all!! So I started over and finally finished a year. Watch it here!

Life Is Kinda How You Spell It

Life is kinda how you spell it,
a story's all in how you tell it.
You've got letters, but how you arrange them
is how your story goes.

We had a Jack Pearson cassette tape that we used to listen to on family road trips when I was a kid, and I still remember the lyrics to almost every song (Mom, Dad, and Brendan, a throwback! https://www.jackpearson.org/albums/singin-our-own-backyard) Using this link you can listen to the tape. I have learned so many lessons in the Comarca, but if I had to sum up the biggest lesson, I would play you the song Life is Kinda How You Spell it.

Let me back up. I want to give a little history of where I live, so you can better understand the current situation of the Ngäbe. When the Spanish arrived in Panama, they forced the indigenous people out of their homelands and up into the less fertile land of the mountains. As the country developed (majorly due to the canal) the indigenous areas were left behind. In my corregimiento, the first elementary school was built in 1972. So my host dad Victor started kindergarten in that year at age 7. My uncle Domingo started kindergarten at age 10. Slowly, high schools, health centers, churches and roads were built in the Comarca (and are still in the process of getting built). Our access road was cut in 1997. So when my neighbor was born in April 1994, a month before me, Lleya gave birth in the house. And when he started having seizures at six months old she hiked over three hours to the only hospital in San Felix, carrying him in her arms, crossing cow pastures and rivers. The Comarca, an official indigenous province with both modern and traditional governance, was formed in 1997 after a group of Ngäbes marched from San Felix to Panama City to testify in front of Parliament after decades of protesting for a Comarca. They literally walked 375 kilometers (233 miles) from San Felix to Panamá! The Ngäbes continue to demand more from the government by peacefully protesting.

Today, the Ngäbe people are at a crossroads. You turn to the left and see pristine, minimally impacted jungle rich in fruits and medicinal plants. You turn to the right and see concrete: construction of dormitories at the school, water tanks, and new electrical poles. In the two years I've been here, our access road has gotten paved, reducing the nausea-inducing hour-long bumpy commute to a smooth ride that can take as little as 20 minutes. I've seen two aqueducts built and four schools expanded just in our little municipality. I can now charge my laptop at my next-door neighbor's house thanks to our representative installing them a solar panel. Development is hugely beneficial in some ways - high school education is finally possible, all kids are vaccinated, maternal mortality is going down. You can see with your own eyes that the food security programs are working; almost all of the youth are way taller than their parents! But of course there are downsides as well. Overpopulation and depletion of the commons are becoming increasingly problematic. Young people, mostly men, leaving their communities for seasonal agricultural work has brought an HIV epidemic to the Comarca. (More about HIV in a later post)

Everyone in my community is poor, in a monetary sense. But there is an incredible difference in the lenses through which people view their own lives, and this is where my lesson comes in. There are people in Cerro Gallina who consistently complain that the government doesn't care about them, that their lives are so hard and will never get better. They complain that the kids don't care about speaking Ngäbere and preserving the culture for the next generation. And these are all valid complaints. But THEN you have the people who care so deeply. Those that take so much pride in their culture, language, and customs. Victor who helped bring laying hen projects to many families in the community. Dionicio and Yesi who patiently teach me Ngäbere and speak Ngäbere not to make fun of the gringa who can't understand, but because they love their language. Marcelino who is on a crusade to eliminate slash and burn farming and get everyone to adopt more sustainable techniques. Melvin who sweated for weeks to build two beautiful and successful fish ponds with no formal training. Milton who has working on starting an organic tomato business right in his backyard. Dinora and all the high schoolers in Dupí who celebrate their culture during tourism week. Rudy who leads us in the traditional jeki dance. Elsa who constantly looks for ways to grow the artisan group pa' seguir adelante. Hiraldo who is amazingly dedicated to his university studies. Domingo who works in construction all around our district in order to send his kids to college. And these are just a few.

Basically I have seen that although everyone comes from roughly the same place, some people struggle to get by and others do very well. People who capitalize on the chances that they come across, go in search of new opportunities, who value and appreciate their humble lifestyle are the ones that give me faith. It's truly all about the way you spin it. The Comarca could advance greatly in the next 50 years, or it could spiral downhill. I don't know what's going to happen, but I believe in the altruistic souls I have come to know and love here.

I have to leave all of these people so soon (30 days left) and my heart is breaking. But I have seen so many hopeful things that keep me going and I'm excited to be around another year in San Felix to keep up with my gente.

So my first grade teacher was right all along and I've learned that lesson well
Your mind helps create your reality like using letters when you're learning to spell
So when the sun comes up each morning with possibilities from A to Z 
Choose the ones that are happy and healthy and wise and that's how your day will be.

In work news...

Tried to give that much-requested brownie baking lesson, but unfortunately no adults showed up, only Roderik and Pricila (above)... oh well. I helped them make the batter and we ate delicious brownies.

Giving another soap-making lesson to the women's artisan group in Cerro Mesa. Miriam wants to start making soap and selling it. You go girl!!

Diane, Peace Corps Panama country director, came to visit Zach in Cerro Mesa! We ran into Yesi selling her DELICIOUS homemade chicken empanadas at the Sunday soccer games. Diane ended up giving her an impromptu motivational speech, haha.

Pricila's 10th birthday! I made scones with "pink lemonade" icing (red food coloring, powdered sugar, milk, and lemon zest haha)

In my natural habitat - waiting for my coconut to be harvested with a bamboo pole. Nice shot, Dionicio!

"Luna in the night kitchen"

Victor finishing up the tank roof. We just have to do two more mortar layers on the inside floor and one more on the outside walls we'll be done. There is a light at the end of the tunnel...

Screenshot of a Facebook post from Rigoberto, a muchacho from fellow volunteer Jake's community. He came to acting camp in January and recently helped out with an Elige Tu Vida seminar at the high school in Cerro Iglesias. The caption translates to "Don't get tired of doing good, because that which you give without expecting anything in return, everything you plant you will one day harvest in abundance." The peculiar grammar assures me that these words were not copied, they came from his heart. My work is validated by rare statements like these. You are the future!!

Bloquear, Relajar, Equivocar

Something different, a list of podcasts I enjoy! No particular order ~
1. This American Life
2. The Sporkful
3. Death, Sex, & Money
4. Modern Love
5. Presidential
6. Invisibilia
7. My Dad Wrote a Porno
8. There Goes the Neighborhood
9. What Really Happened
10. Revisionist History (probably my #1 favorite - I'm a big Malcolm Gladwell fan)
11. Wrongful Conviction
12. The Joe Rogan Experience
13. Otherhood
14. On Being
15. Freakonomics Radio
16. S-Town
17. Dirty John
18. Constitutional
19. Terrible, Thanks for Asking
20. Heaven's Gate
21. StarTalk Radio
22. Slow Burn

And a few things I've been especially grateful for lately. For gifts of mangoes and avocados (at some point a couple weeks ago I had 15 fresh avocados in my house, I shared/ate them all and it was glorious). For Dioselina who gifted me six ripe bananas not knowing it was my birthday. For Roger who is beating me in my goal of learning the flag of every country. For my new $3 knock-off Crocs so I could finally retire my old ones with holes in the bottoms to the shoe graveyard under my bed. For classical music that plays on 94.7 Radio María. For my dog-eared Spanish-English dictionary. For Planet Earth movie nights with Roderik, Walter, Pricila, Jairo, Debora, Tito, Victor, and Diana. For my host dad's delight every time he tries one of my baking creations.

Membrillo, limes, mangos, avocados, turmeric, pifá, orange leaves to make tea. Mother Earth spoils me here!!

Comarca Crew at regional meeting. We had our first ever chicha fuerte ("strong juice" - homemade fermented corn beverage) competition after the meeting. Zach and I prepared a chicha de maíz with cinnamon, anise, and ginger. We didn't win but it was a blast trying the four different competing chichas.

G79 WASH at close-of-service conference, immediately after receiving "washer" necklaces.

Bloquear : to block. In this case, to lay cinder blocks to make a tank.
We have finally resumed work on the aqueduct improvement. This is thanks to Julio from Cerro Mesa, who has used his brash leadership style to mobilize the gente to get the job done. I'm grateful for this because I sure was not having success myself. We finished with all the blocks and are moving on to the repello (cement-mortar mix around the blocks to seal the tank) and the roof. After months of no water in the aqueduct and countless days at the toma (alone) trying to figure out what the problem was and me losing sleep wondering if we had somehow messed up the toma and ruined the spring...Domingo walked about 15 meters and found that the transmission tube had been chopped clear open with a machete, likely by a foe of the family. A simple chopped tube caused multiple families (and one poor PCV) months of grief and hundreds of 5-gallon buckets hauled uphill... let that sink in. But there's water now, LOTS of water, so that's good.

Victor leveling blocks.

Blocks all done! Filling tank with water to clean it out to prepare to lay sealing mortar on the floor. Check out that flow! #rainyseason

Something that has been bothering me is that I am the only female at every single workday. Sometimes wives come, but they stay in the kitchen cooking and chatting and sometimes come up to the tank, but never so much as touch a shovel or a trowel. One day Roberto arrived and told the group that a woman named Rosalia said she was going to come to work, and the men began to discuss what job she could do if she came, "because women can't lay blocks, they are too sensitive, this is not woman's work" right in front of me. A woman. Doing the exact same work the men were doing. And then, there's one guy - who I won't call out by name - that makes horribly racist, misogynistic, and even violent jokes as we work, making me angry and very uncomfortable. I have called him out a couple times, for example when he spewed a nasty stereotype about Afro-Panamanians, but I am cautious because I don't want to stir the pot too much and anger him, I just want to get the job done. Because of this I'm also cautious about trying to bring women into this environment, as much as I want to. I recently listened to a podcast about a workplace discrimination lawsuit (This American Life Episode 647: LaDonna) and it's laughable how little that applies here in the Panamanian campo. If anyone has advice for me on how to recruit women to work, I am all ears.

Relajar(se) : to relax.
So in Peace Corps during training we talked a lot about building confianza, which means trust, with our gente. But we didn't talk much about relajo, for which I can't think of a good English equivalent. It basically means to have a relationship where you can comfortably joke, relax, and make fun of each other. Both of these things are crucial for strong relationships in-site. Let me tell you, building confianza and relajo have been incredibly difficult for me! Especially with the adults. I made it worse for myself because for a long time, I was so frustrated with gente's unwillingness to work that I stopped visiting people's houses just to hang out. And that only hurt the trust and relajo that were slowly building. So now that we are working, I'm in a better place and I am trying to sit down and have more frequent conversations. That's how I found myself talking with Enrique for several hours a few weeks ago, and he told me his life story, all about his previous wives and kids. I consider it a great privilege to be trusted with his story. It's also how I ended up hanging out on a Sunday at Isaías and Casilda's. Somebody gave Hilario the nickname of "Trump" because he has more facial hair than most men in the community...more facial hair, more like white people...so, the United States...current president...Trump. Isaías thinks this is the funniest thing, so I gave all of the Hilario's relatives presidential surnames. Hilario Trump, Isaías Clinton, Rosa Obama, Manuel Washington... Without fail he goes into a laughing fit whenever I repeat these nicknames and Herlina from Cerro Mesa, who also happened to be visiting, exclaimed in surprise, "Bei you DO have relajo with the gente!" I'm surprised too, Herlina.

Equivocarse : to err / to go wrong / to make a mistake.
In preparation for my upcoming somewhat-more-professional role as Regional Leader, I have tried to ramp up my study of Spanish. Because I want to speak with the vocabulary and eloquence of a professional, a step up from my current funky campo Spanish. Shoving my vergüenza aside here, I present some hall-of-fame Spanish mistakes.

-measurement: medida. I used the made-up word medimiento for months.
-singer: cantante. I also made up an incorrect word, cantador.
-calculation: cálculo. Called it calculación for the longest time. Wonder if my gente doubt my assurance that I actually have an engineering degree...
-fiber: fibra. Once during a discussion on nutrition I accidentally called it fiebre, which means fever. "Vegetables are important to the diet because they contain a lot of fever"
-goalkeeper: portero/a. On occasion I've confused it with potrero, which means cow pasture. "I'll be the cow pasture for your team today."
-bacteria: bactéria. I was saying the right word but maybe my pronunciation was off, or Rosa's hearing is fading, but during an entire water treatment charla she thought I was saying batería, which means battery. Her daughter Meibi whispered this to me after the charla, "She was so confused why you kept saying that we have to purify our water to get rid of the bad batteries."
-years: años. This one was actually Yesi's mistake. We were playing hangman with a small group, and it wasn't until I had solved the puzzle that she realized she had forgotten the tilde over the n - ¿Cuántos años tienes, Alfredo? to ¿Cuántos anos tienes, Alfredo? "How old are you, Alfredo?" turned into "How many buttholes do you have, Alfredo?"
Oh, Spanish!

Casual bath for Yoriel in the creek while his mother Ana guts a cow.

I was put on chichi duty while his mother warmed up for her soccer game.

Helping neighbor Corbyn build a rainwater catchment tank.

My gente planting communal corn.

Yohany in my sombrero.

This post is dedicated to Cuchi Cuchi. This photo is old but I've always liked it. She's been missing for a month, and no one knows where she went. I think it's likely she suffered a deadly snake bite, but I have no proof. I'd like to hope she's still alive out there. Because I felt uneasy not having a pet, I'm caring for Luna, one of Cuchi's grandcats that belongs to a very generous woman in Cerro Mesa named Tomasa, until I finish my service. Luna is a wonderful little kitten, I'll post a photo soon. But anyways, Cuchi Cuchi you were/are an incredible cat, I miss you and I love you and I hope you're in a better place wherever you are.

Kukwe Kri

I began writing this post on a balcony overlooking the ocean on Isla Boca Brava to the screeches of howler monkeys in the trees above, continued it at a picnic table in a sweaty fonda in San Felix, continued on the front porch of my house – the beloved Castillo Kwitubtä (Chicken Hill Castle), and finally finished in a hostel in Casco Viejo. The past month has been packed and the next few will likely be the same. We’re in the home stretch of our service and I admit the senioritis is coming on strong. It’s a weird feeling, knowing that these are the last four months ever that I get to live and work with my gente. I am already having days where I feel so done and just want to check out, days where I am frustrated that after a year and a half of trying to promote healthier behaviors I’m still hardly seeing any change, days when I dream about returning to a world of convenience and efficiency. I have lots of things that I hope to fit in – water committee seminars, filming some new skits written by my Youth Health Promoters, trying to make progress on the aqueduct improvements. The aqueduct project continues to be at a standstill as the community is rife with conflict (and the cows continue to break water tubes)…and unfortunately, the stress of this project has gotten in the way of the strong bonds I have with my closest neighbors. So I have some pipes to repair but also some relationships to repair. I arrived in the city today for G79’s close-of-service conference tomorrow and Friday, where we talk about career planning and adjusting back to life in the US and whatnot. I can’t wait to see everyone. Some exciting news (kukwe kri: big news in Ngäbere) is that I’m not returning to the states just yet… I will be staying one more year in Peace Corps as the Regional Leader for the Comarca Ngäbe-Buglé! In September I’ll move to the hopping metropolis of San Felix (read: sleepy little town). Several of my main duties will be supporting the 30-ish volunteers in the Comarca, planning regional meetings, coordinating with government agencies, and preparing new communities to receive PCVs. Plus, I’ll be living in a house with a refrigerator, Wifi, a shower, air conditioning…you could say I’m excited. But REST ASSURED I do not plan to stay in Panama forever :) In September 2019 I’ll return stateside and hope to go to grad school soon after! I’m also required to take a month of paid leave as I’m starting my third year so I’ll probably be coming home around November.

So onto some recent highlights ~

Cody's parents and brother flew to Panama for a weekend. We spent some time with them at the beach and then went up to his old site. We camped out in the school and did an Elige Tu Vida seminar the next day. The kids and teachers were so enthusiastic and it was such a success. In the photo I'm attempting to corral kids for the Glitter HIV activity (someone starts the game with glitter on their hands and by the end almost everyone is 'infected', to demonstrate how HIV is spread)

Some of our crew during Cody's weekend at Michael's house.

New row of garden beds made by Marcelino's producers' group, ready to plant vegetables.

Me holding a recently beheaded chicken. I decided I wanted to learn how to prepare a chicken from start to finish so I bought a nice 4-lb hen from my friend Manuel, hiked ~30 minutes holding it upside down by the legs to Dominga's house. They hung it from a tree and handed me the knife...and I couldn't do it. I was so afraid I'd butcher (no pun intended) the killing and ruin the meat or something so after a few minutes of me hemming and hawing Melvin grabbed the knife and in one fluid motion sliced the head off so it could bleed out. But I did the rest - dunking it in scalding water, plucking, removing the guts, cutting, washing, cutting, cooking... I made pollo guisado and shared it with my host family. Yummm. I know where my food comes from, do you?!

Manuel working on a latrine seat.

"Bei, take a photo of me with the latrine seat and send it to your family in the United States and say 'This is Hilario Palacio'".

At the end of April I went to Batata, a community wayyyy up in the cordillera, for a few days with nine other PCVs to be a translator for a medical clinic by a group of physical therapy, physician assistant, and nursing students from the states. Batata is on the other side of the Comarca - the Buglé side! It was my first time interacting with the Buglé, and I got to learn a little Buglere too. It's in the same Chibcha language family as Ngäbere but the two are mutually unintelligible. The university that coordinates the clinic comes 2-3 times a year and has formed an amazing relationship with the community; they are hoping to establish a permanent clinic there. It brought me full circle, a little - back in 2014 I went to the Dominican Republic to help at traveling clinics on a spring break service trip. This was one of the occasions that got me thinking about joining Peace Corps in the first place. This time, I actually felt useful because I speak Spanish now haha. The Buglé people were really beautiful and so was the region. I didn't take pictures during the clinic but here are a few from the area.

"Water is life, care for the forests."

Mara and Courtney came to Panama!! We spent two days in the city checking out the canal, fish market, Casco Viejo, and Cerro Ancón. Then we came to my site, and I put them to work! We planted rice with Clemente and Abel, visited multiple artisans and they purchased some homemade Ngäbe swag, gave a dental health charla where we taught how to make homemade baking soda toothpaste, and hiked to visit Bertilo's new conservation park. We then spent a couple of nights on the beautiful Isla Boca Brava. We went sea kayaking and stopped at several beaches, the first we didn't time our landing very well and a wave flipped our kayak and slammed us and our stuff into the sand... the second beach was more tranquil and a kind Ngäbe caretaker chopped us down fresh coconuts, mmm. Having them here and catching up on old college times, their current lives, and teaching them as much about my life in the Comarca as I could fit into a week and a half was such a blessing. It was an amazing trip, thanks to you two for visiting <3 

At my house with Cuchi Cuchi's three most recent kittens: Pía, Violeta, and Simón.

A Kuna man we met at Cerro Ancón in Panama City showed us a sloth and her baby in a tree.

A group of three high school girls approached us in the park and asked if any of us spoke French. Mara does, so she helped them with their French homework.

Hanging out with Elvin and Melissa on the porch.

Homemade toothpaste and dental health workshop.

Pineapple & papaya batidos on Isla Boca Brava.

Finally, this weekend my friend Ire from Bocas del Toro came and gave a cacao management seminar! My community has many cacao trees... but most of them suffer from a plague every year and very little chocolate is actually produced. The gente have been asking for this for quite a while and I'm so glad I was finally able to make it happen. She is a cacao wizard and taught about how to prune trees and get rid of plagued pods. I learned a lot and I really hope the gente will take her advice and see if they can make their cacao productive again. I'm bringing home Bocas cacao from the conference and I will finally cumplir on the other request: a brownie baking lesson.